Okay this is a bit weird and might not belong on here but i'm trying to figure this out and keep running into porn sights whenever I run a Google search. My husband and I have been experimenting with femdom type stuff me controlling him telling him what to do in the context of sex type things ONLY. We are married. happy that way and he needs to be the head of the household. I don't feel safe when I control everything. But I do enjoy the femdom aspect in the bedroom. Question is how to we balance that with our lives and relationship outside of that? A lot of the stuff i've read about it involves actually turning him into a slave (doing chores and demeaning things etc.) I don't want that, I want to fulfill him here and then I want to be the one taken care of outside that. any suggestions or sights or something?
Well, the question is- does your husband feel the same? Is he also content to keep femdom confined to the bedroom, or do you suspect he might want to expand the dynamic beyond it?
There is no one way to "do" femdom- for some folks it is a once-in-a-while indulgence, for others it's a routine part of their sex lives, for some, it's all they do, sexually, for some it is mostly confined to the bedroom but the dynamic may spill over or be indulged in other areas of their lives, some play with the dynamic in their everyday lives, and still others live the 24/7 lifestyle. All are fine and valid.
Clearly, BDSM is all about communication- talking, negotiating, setting down boundaries is what it's all about, and that includes the role you want the dynamic to have in your life. Sit down and share your feelings and concerns- that you love what the two of you do, but you prefer it only to be sexual in nature, and then find out what his thoughts are and how he feels about that.
All people have multiple aspects to their personalities. No one is the same in every situation. Because relationships and marriages involve people, the same is true of the marriage. It can have a different nature depending on the situation. What is saying that you can't have a female dominant sex life and a male dominant domestic life? Nothing. Those web sites are for people that take things to the extreme. Communicate with each other, experiment, come to an agreement, continue to communicate with each other, and live your life your way.
I think your best bet is to role play and pretend to be different people when you are doing femdom stuff and then only talk about it when you are in character. When not in character, just act normal. This might allow you both freedom to explore without worrying about your normal lives. Also, have a safe word or signal for him.
Make your own rules. The idea behind it is mutual satisfaction. For men to be dominated by a woman can be both sexually exciting and stress relieving. Your voice, your expressions, your vocabulary and your outfits and props will also help to create the right atmosphere. My BF and I use a piece of jewelry to symbolize domination time. When it is off you are back to equals. The sub always gets a safe word.
Well, the question is- does your husband feel the same? Is he also content to keep femdom confined to the bedroom, or do you suspect he might want to expand the dynamic beyond it?
There is no one way to "do" femdom- for some folks it is a once-in-a-while indulgence, for others it's a routine part of their sex lives, for some, it's all they do, sexually, for some it is mostly confined to the bedroom but the dynamic may spill over or be indulged in other areas of their lives, some play with the dynamic in their everyday lives, and still others live the 24/7 lifestyle. All are fine and valid.
Clearly, BDSM is all about communication- talking, negotiating, setting down boundaries is what it's all about, and that includes the role you want the dynamic to have in your life. Sit down and share your feelings and concerns- that you love what the two of you do, but you prefer it only to be sexual in nature, and then find out what his thoughts are and how he feels about that.
All people have multiple aspects to their personalities. No one is the same in every situation. Because relationships and marriages involve people, the same is true of the marriage. It can have a different nature depending on the situation. What is saying that you can't have a female dominant sex life and a male dominant domestic life? Nothing. Those web sites are for people that take things to the extreme. Communicate with each other, experiment, come to an agreement, continue to communicate with each other, and live your life your way.
I think your best bet is to role play and pretend to be different people when you are doing femdom stuff and then only talk about it when you are in character. When not in character, just act normal. This might allow you both freedom to explore without worrying about your normal lives. Also, have a safe word or signal for him.
Make your own rules. The idea behind it is mutual satisfaction. For men to be dominated by a woman can be both sexually exciting and stress relieving. Your voice, your expressions, your vocabulary and your outfits and props will also help to create the right atmosphere. My BF and I use a piece of jewelry to symbolize domination time. When it is off you are back to equals. The sub always gets a safe word.