This topic is very controversial. I'm just curious to know people opinion on this. I just turned 18 and I'm in a dilemma on this one. So it'd greatly help me knowing other people's opinions. Religious, non- religious or any opinion is is very welcome to post. Please be informative of your answer. Mention your points for your answer. ONLY serious answers please
Its neither good or bad. It solely depends on the person and each and every single different relationship
Some people are able to sleep with each other on the first date and then many years later still remain happily married
Some waited until the wedding night and but have a miserble marriage
There is no clear cut black or white good or bad when it comes to premartial sex. If the both people believe that it is for them and they are already have a strong emotional bond and understand all the risks, then why not do it? The key here is personal perference and choice. Hence why some people are for premartial sex and others arent
And as for the whole test the car before you buy it arguement, there are ways to know if you are generally sexually compatible or have the same ideas on sex just by having an open discussion on sex with each other. You are not an object so why would you treat your significant other like one? Also sex is not static and compatibility is not effortless.
For me personally, i want to save sex for marriage (or rather be a vrigin until marriage) because i believe once you had such an intimate connection with someone, they will somehow stay connected to you forever spiritually, i dont want to share that connection and side of myself with anyone other than my future husband. But that is just my personal belief for myself.
The following arguments are explained from an entirely atheist point of view.
1) Sex unites a couple in a strong physiological and psychological way. The first sex partner tends to be the most significant of all first times, especially if there were romantic feelings involved. Consider which experience is more memorable: the 1st partner ever, or the 9th out of 15? The more people you have sex with, the lesser is the unifying effect. If you have sex with more than one person, you are wasting the potential of sex.
2) Sex between immature people has serious risks, such as unwanted pregnancy and disease. Marriage, while not definitely foolproof, can be a good indicator of a necessary responsible attitude required for enjoying sex maturely.
3) Having sex with more than one people takes the romance mostly out of sex. "You're my #8 but still the most special." is not as convincing as "I have had sexual feelings for many people, but you're the one I want, because I love you." Then again, even if you have sex before that commitment or with more than one person, it can still be romantic. Just not on the same level. If you feel the sex is so good you don't require it to be unquestionably special, you're just making you're future marriage that much more unstable.
4) The meaningfulness of sex is mostly a psychological matter, and related to the stability and happiness of the relationship. If a relationship between a mature couple, as opposed to those who rush to marriage at 18, is strong enough for a committed relationship, that is a great indicator of enjoying highly the shared sex life later.
5) The likelihood of either partner being unfaithful is extremely low if the couple can agree on their shared limits before marriage, have sexual feelings towards each other, and manage to wait until the wedding day. If they could be patient enough to wait the one they love and have sexual feelings for, the partners can be entirely sure that any inevitable future attractions can be relatively easily overcome. On the other hand, if you have sex liberally with many partners before a committed relationship, sex simply is less meaningful and the threshold to different levels of unfaithfulness is much lower given the opportunity. Naturally, sex before marriage does not result in cheating, only
Well rightness and wrongness of sex before marriage solely depends on the fact that how many partners you are actually doing it with and whether you marry the person or even commit to that person because lets face it..it affects the future relationships how many partners you have had...if you look around you will always find people who are trying to hide their past and they compare their relationships.
When we are young we just want to get laid and have sex with anyone we haven't achieved that maturity and stability in our mentality and hormones we don't think the consequences of our actions
Relationships aren't easy..infact anything in life which is good doesn't come easy we have to work towards achieving it so yeah there will be hardships..maybe boredom but the real character is in working on it not cheating divorcing or giving up all relationships go through more or less the same phase lets face it..that as we grow up we lose two things our innocence and our ability to surprise
I grew up in a very religious household, so I might have some conservative/traditionalism bias. However, I am an agnostic at the moment and my views are dynamic.
I think that it's good to restrain from sexual intimacy for as long as possible. Statistically speaking, people who lose their virginity later have a lower divorce rate and a higher satisfaction with their marriage.
Waiting until marriage to lose your virginity, in my opinion, is a great idea because it shows that you and your partner are socially compatible and you are not just using each other for sex. That's why the divorce rate is so low for couples who wait until marriage.
Having one sexual partner in your lifetime significantly minimizes your risk of getting an std which is a huge bonus.
That's all I've got to say. I'm choosing to wait, and I encourage you to do the same.
That's very personal so you would have to decide for yourself. We can't help you. According to the bible, you sin if you have sexual relations before marriage which is why so many are against it. Of course if you are not a believer then you don't worry about having sex before marriage. But i'm sure there are some who don't believe in God but still believe in sex saved after marriage. Because sex is very personal and intimate. I personally do believe in God but i have had sex before marriage. No sin is greater than the other. We all sin, just differently.
Here's the 3 main Myths people use to promote premarital sex
Myth 1: “You should have sex with the people you date because you wouldn’t buy a car without test driving it first.”
It is true that one would not buy a car without test driving it. It is also true that cars are objects, and that a person who owns a car is supposed to use it. But people are not cars. We’re not objects. A married person is not supposed to use his or her spouse. The need for a test-drive, when the quest is for a car, exists because we have to see that the means (a car) serves its purpose. The need for a test-drive, when the quest is for a spouse, is a myth, because a person who treats a spouse like a means to an end is a person who doesn’t love.
Myth 2: “You should have sex with the people you date or wedding night sex will be awkward.”
Or underwhelming. Or just plain bad. This myth—that we ought to have premarital sex so sex isn’t uncomfortable on our wedding nights—implies that the quality of wedding night sex is paramount, and that how immediately sex is pleasurable is what determines its quality. This myth requires a person’s focus to be on preparedness for a wedding night. It perpetuates the misguided belief that physical pleasure is what makes sex good. It isn’t. Unity makes sex good. Procreation makes sex good. That it feels good is an added bonus. Sex that isn’t immediately pleasurable requires a couple to use teamwork and communication and patience—skills a couple uses to practice chastity while they date, skills fostered when we prepare for marriage rather than just for a wedding night.
Myth 3: “You should have sex with the people you date because you need to know you are sexually compatible.”
This myth wouldn’t be a myth if sex were static. But it isn’t. Even secular sex columnists agree (“Most people don’t start out very good (at sex),” one wrote; sex “skills” are learned, wrote another.) And indeed they are, with communication, practice, and patience. Which outs what actually underlies this myth: The quest isn’t for sexual compatibility. It’s for effortless sexual compatibility. Sexual compatibility can be achieved within a marriage over time, but our culture seeks compatibility that’s effortless because that sort of sex would not require what we are far too quick to avoid: work. A marriage doesn’t have to be doomed for newlyweds who discover that the sex isn’t effortless; instead, it can be fortified, when a groom and a bride agree to learn together.
You want to know the truth? Here it is. The truth is it's good and bad. Pros: #1. It's good to have a little bit more experience; what you don't know, your spouse will have to teach you. #2. It's good to see them naked to know if you want to be married to that for the rest of your life. Cons:#1. God said it's a bad idea and he's pretty smart. #2 Whatever experiences you have outside marriage will haunt your relationship to some extent when you get married. And the more insecure the spouse (or you) the more it will haunt you. #3 Sexually transmitted diseases, even herpes, are no joke; so many consequences plague you for the rest of your life if you get a sexually transmitted disease. #4 Every romantic moment you have with somebody even just kissing, writing love letters, pictures etc. is part of yourself that you give away and you can never get back. #5. Getting pregnant is too easy. Save as much as you can for the love of your life. You won't regret saving too much for them.
Its neither good or bad. It solely depends on the person and each and every single different relationship
Some people are able to sleep with each other on the first date and then many years later still remain happily married
Some waited until the wedding night and but have a miserble marriage
There is no clear cut black or white good or bad when it comes to premartial sex. If the both people believe that it is for them and they are already have a strong emotional bond and understand all the risks, then why not do it? The key here is personal perference and choice. Hence why some people are for premartial sex and others arent
And as for the whole test the car before you buy it arguement, there are ways to know if you are generally sexually compatible or have the same ideas on sex just by having an open discussion on sex with each other. You are not an object so why would you treat your significant other like one? Also sex is not static and compatibility is not effortless.
For me personally, i want to save sex for marriage (or rather be a vrigin until marriage) because i believe once you had such an intimate connection with someone, they will somehow stay connected to you forever spiritually, i dont want to share that connection and side of myself with anyone other than my future husband. But that is just my personal belief for myself.
The following arguments are explained from an entirely atheist point of view.
1) Sex unites a couple in a strong physiological and psychological way. The first sex partner tends to be the most significant of all first times, especially if there were romantic feelings involved. Consider which experience is more memorable: the 1st partner ever, or the 9th out of 15? The more people you have sex with, the lesser is the unifying effect. If you have sex with more than one person, you are wasting the potential of sex.
2) Sex between immature people has serious risks, such as unwanted pregnancy and disease. Marriage, while not definitely foolproof, can be a good indicator of a necessary responsible attitude required for enjoying sex maturely.
3) Having sex with more than one people takes the romance mostly out of sex. "You're my #8 but still the most special." is not as convincing as "I have had sexual feelings for many people, but you're the one I want, because I love you." Then again, even if you have sex before that commitment or with more than one person, it can still be romantic. Just not on the same level. If you feel the sex is so good you don't require it to be unquestionably special, you're just making you're future marriage that much more unstable.
4) The meaningfulness of sex is mostly a psychological matter, and related to the stability and happiness of the relationship. If a relationship between a mature couple, as opposed to those who rush to marriage at 18, is strong enough for a committed relationship, that is a great indicator of enjoying highly the shared sex life later.
5) The likelihood of either partner being unfaithful is extremely low if the couple can agree on their shared limits before marriage, have sexual feelings towards each other, and manage to wait until the wedding day. If they could be patient enough to wait the one they love and have sexual feelings for, the partners can be entirely sure that any inevitable future attractions can be relatively easily overcome. On the other hand, if you have sex liberally with many partners before a committed relationship, sex simply is less meaningful and the threshold to different levels of unfaithfulness is much lower given the opportunity. Naturally, sex before marriage does not result in cheating, only
Well rightness and wrongness of sex before marriage solely depends on the fact that how many partners you are actually doing it with and whether you marry the person or even commit to that person because lets face it..it affects the future relationships how many partners you have had...if you look around you will always find people who are trying to hide their past and they compare their relationships.
When we are young we just want to get laid and have sex with anyone we haven't achieved that maturity and stability in our mentality and hormones we don't think the consequences of our actions
Relationships aren't easy..infact anything in life which is good doesn't come easy we have to work towards achieving it so yeah there will be hardships..maybe boredom but the real character is in working on it not cheating divorcing or giving up all relationships go through more or less the same phase lets face it..that as we grow up we lose two things our innocence and our ability to surprise
I grew up in a very religious household, so I might have some conservative/traditionalism bias. However, I am an agnostic at the moment and my views are dynamic.
I think that it's good to restrain from sexual intimacy for as long as possible. Statistically speaking, people who lose their virginity later have a lower divorce rate and a higher satisfaction with their marriage.
Waiting until marriage to lose your virginity, in my opinion, is a great idea because it shows that you and your partner are socially compatible and you are not just using each other for sex. That's why the divorce rate is so low for couples who wait until marriage.
Having one sexual partner in your lifetime significantly minimizes your risk of getting an std which is a huge bonus.
That's all I've got to say. I'm choosing to wait, and I encourage you to do the same.
That's very personal so you would have to decide for yourself. We can't help you. According to the bible, you sin if you have sexual relations before marriage which is why so many are against it. Of course if you are not a believer then you don't worry about having sex before marriage. But i'm sure there are some who don't believe in God but still believe in sex saved after marriage. Because sex is very personal and intimate. I personally do believe in God but i have had sex before marriage. No sin is greater than the other. We all sin, just differently.
Here's the 3 main Myths people use to promote premarital sex
Myth 1: “You should have sex with the people you date because you wouldn’t buy a car without test driving it first.”
It is true that one would not buy a car without test driving it. It is also true that cars are objects, and that a person who owns a car is supposed to use it. But people are not cars. We’re not objects. A married person is not supposed to use his or her spouse. The need for a test-drive, when the quest is for a car, exists because we have to see that the means (a car) serves its purpose. The need for a test-drive, when the quest is for a spouse, is a myth, because a person who treats a spouse like a means to an end is a person who doesn’t love.
Myth 2: “You should have sex with the people you date or wedding night sex will be awkward.”
Or underwhelming. Or just plain bad. This myth—that we ought to have premarital sex so sex isn’t uncomfortable on our wedding nights—implies that the quality of wedding night sex is paramount, and that how immediately sex is pleasurable is what determines its quality. This myth requires a person’s focus to be on preparedness for a wedding night. It perpetuates the misguided belief that physical pleasure is what makes sex good. It isn’t. Unity makes sex good. Procreation makes sex good. That it feels good is an added bonus. Sex that isn’t immediately pleasurable requires a couple to use teamwork and communication and patience—skills a couple uses to practice chastity while they date, skills fostered when we prepare for marriage rather than just for a wedding night.
Myth 3: “You should have sex with the people you date because you need to know you are sexually compatible.”
This myth wouldn’t be a myth if sex were static. But it isn’t. Even secular sex columnists agree (“Most people don’t start out very good (at sex),” one wrote; sex “skills” are learned, wrote another.) And indeed they are, with communication, practice, and patience. Which outs what actually underlies this myth: The quest isn’t for sexual compatibility. It’s for effortless sexual compatibility. Sexual compatibility can be achieved within a marriage over time, but our culture seeks compatibility that’s effortless because that sort of sex would not require what we are far too quick to avoid: work. A marriage doesn’t have to be doomed for newlyweds who discover that the sex isn’t effortless; instead, it can be fortified, when a groom and a bride agree to learn together.
You want to know the truth? Here it is. The truth is it's good and bad. Pros: #1. It's good to have a little bit more experience; what you don't know, your spouse will have to teach you. #2. It's good to see them naked to know if you want to be married to that for the rest of your life. Cons:#1. God said it's a bad idea and he's pretty smart. #2 Whatever experiences you have outside marriage will haunt your relationship to some extent when you get married. And the more insecure the spouse (or you) the more it will haunt you. #3 Sexually transmitted diseases, even herpes, are no joke; so many consequences plague you for the rest of your life if you get a sexually transmitted disease. #4 Every romantic moment you have with somebody even just kissing, writing love letters, pictures etc. is part of yourself that you give away and you can never get back. #5. Getting pregnant is too easy. Save as much as you can for the love of your life. You won't regret saving too much for them.